Who Am I?

With so many homeschoolers that I know both in person and through homeschool blogs, questioning where they are, how they teach, what they teach, if they can teach,..I have been spending some time looking in as to why and how and what I want for my kids. I am a learner and I excelled in school. I am a dreamer but have some type A personality traits. I put alot of pressure on myself to do well in school. It paid off with college scholarships and summa cum laudes but I also missed out on some of the joys of growing up. Its easy for me to want my kids to excel academically... its a goal and a trap in one. But I also want to cuddle with them and make learning fun and exciting and something that isn't frightful. I also want them to have a sense of duty and responsibility. A strong work ethic..no laziness here. How to accomplish this all. I was drawn to classical and I am drawn to other philosophies as well. I have never been one to follow a crowd. I walk on grass instead of the sidewalk. I didn't drink or have sex when nearly everyone else did. I have never minded being different...and in todays time having traditional values is being different. So when I got curriculums like Sing Spell REad and Write or Story of The World...it has been very easy for me to make them my own. Do what I like ...skip what I don't..know when to slow down or speed up. So I'm not in a curriculum crisis...just in a thinking place. Who am I ? What kind of Mom, teacher am I? What changes do I need to make? What paths do I need to take or jump off of?

When do I walk on the sidewalk and when do I walk on the grass?